that time you forgot how to breathe
by dharkephoenyx
Summary: 'What matters was that his brother and sister were alive. His niece was here, and safe, never mind she was three weeks early, she was here. Three days ago neither of them might have made it. Three heartbeats could have been stopped permanently. He feels relieved, and not ashamed to admit it either.' AU Finchel, big brother Kurt, Pucktana. It gets heavy.


**A/N: ****I'm not intentionally being cruel. It's just that music tends to fuel my imagination and well, this one was kinda dark. AU Finchel, big brother Kurt, Cherry and Finntana besties. Rated T, but it gets heavy. Firefighter!Finn and Broadway!Rachel in NY. Unbeta'd.**

**Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.**

* * *

_that time you forgot how to breathe_

He doesn't understand.

He spoke to them about two hours ago, smiling and listening from the doorway as they sang Chris to sleep over the phone before promising Finn he would drive Rachel to the airport to pick up their parents on Wednesday. Tonight, they were headed to see one of Rachel's old Broadway shows and then dinner, he remembers that.

He doesn't understand why he's bundling up his sleepy four year-old nephew while Santana waits in the front room, pacing from one side of the room to the next, biting her nails. He abhors the habit and usually he'd smack her hand for doing it, not caring if she glares at him, but she looks _scared _and he's never seen her like this.

Mike's in the car outside when they come out. He tells them he's already called their parents back in Lima and the Berrys had booked flights for the four of them, they'd be in New York inside five hours.

He asks about Finn and Rachel again and Santana presses her hand to her mouth, avoiding his gaze in the rearview mirror.

He tries calling their phones but it just rings until voicemail, and the radio in Santana's off-duty car keeps crackling about some accident until she clicks it off.

He doesn't understand.

So why weren't their two best friends saying anything?

Accident? What accident? Where was his brother and his wife?

...

Unconscious. They'd both been unconscious on arrival, covered in blood. Mercifully, it was Blaine and David who had been the paramedics on scene and Tina had been on duty at the hospital when they brought them in. She called her husband who called Santana and yea.

Tina takes Chris from him, ushering him towards a corner of the waiting room. Through the windows directly across from him, he can see into the room, see Finn and Rachel lying on beds beside each other, eyes closed, hooked up to machines.

"I'll take him to the nurses lounge, I don't think he should see them like this yet." She whispers, cradling her godson's head to her shoulder. He nods absently, kissing Chris' forehead and lets him go. Blaine won't be off shift for another three hours, so Santana and Mike keep him company while he stares in disbelief as nurses flit in and out of the room.

He's glad they placed them together, he doesn't think he can go from one room to the next. Finn's his brother, blood or not, and Rachel is his sister; he doesn't see 'step' or 'in-law' when it comes to these two. They grew up together; they helped him face high school when he came out, he was there when they realized they were in love, there for every single break-up, their wedding and the birth of his nephew.

This is his family, part of his world and blood doesn't matter.

But it does.

Rachel's face and hair are covered in it. Finn's arm and legs are bathed in horrible crimson and they look so _odd_. Rachel's olive-toned skin looks so pale, almost matching the white sheets covering her. And Finn, the man can't tan to save his life. His brother's skin looks so strange its almost scary.

Lying there, broken and bruised. It looks wrong. It's _not_ Finn or Rachel.

But he listens to Santana's low murmur as she talks to Mike. He wants to claw his ears off as he eavesdrops; how can something like this _even_ happen? This can't be real life, is it?

Tina comes back with cups of coffee and he takes one from her gratefully. Just to do something with his hands so they don't fidget.

"Careful, Kurt. It's hot."

Good. He wraps his palm around the paper cup, feeling the heat on his palm. That is real. So it must mean that the sight before him is real too.

Someone squeezes his shoulder and his eyes dart to Santana's.

In the eleven years since they've been friends he's never seen her cry. He pulls his eyes away from her, pretending - despite the heat from the cup in his hands - that he doesn't see the wet streaks on her face.

...

Kurt sits and stares at the people coming in and out of room 105. Tina tries to get more information on whats going on but all they tell her is that Mrs. Hudson was stable and Mr. Hudson was sleeping. He'd woken up briefly after surgery only to pass out again and they still wouldn't tell her the extent of his injuries.

He's vaguely aware of Santana and Mike hovering nearby. Bad news (he doesn't see anyway this can be good news) travels fast because aside from their small group of friends, Rachel's castmates from shows she's worked with and members from Finn's stationhouse arrive in droves.

Santana glares at everyone who comes near him and Mike doesn't stay much but he's grateful they don't let anyone talk to him.

Mercedes and Sam show up and join the small sentry duty they have going on and when Puck walks in, he presses his forehead to Santana's and shakes hand with Mike. He doesn't really talk to Kurt, but squeezes his shoulder, pulling away to stride over to Finn's Fire chief. Almost all the men from Finn's usual shift are huddled in the small waiting room staring at their small group with sad eyes but he ignores them really.

He's glad for their support but he'd prefer if there wasn't a _reason_ for them to be here.

...

Artie rolls in, a harried Brittany behind him and he's almost relieved to see Artie. As chief of staff at Mt. VH, he hopes the man can get some answers for them. Brittany wants to come to him, he can tell, and again he's grateful to Santana because she wraps her hand around her best friend, silently shaking her head.

He leans back against the wall, his eyes glued to their room and his composure almost slips when Blaine hurries in. He lets his boyfriend pull him into his arms, kissing his cheek as he murmurs quiet words to him.

Artie and Puck go off into a side room with one of the doctors working on Finn and Rachel and there's some finger pointing by Artie and Puck just glares. Finally the doctor sighs, acquiesces and starts talking. He and Artie exchange more words, the doctor nods and they shake hands and Artie nods at Puck and then wheels over to the side, pulling out his phone.

One by one their friends gather closer and Pucks walks back over, exchanging a worried look with his wife. Santana nods once and sort of inches closer to Kurt; he doesn't resist when she takes his other hand in hers.

"Alright, I know everyone's asking and the press will have a field day with this, there are already newshouses gathered outside, and Santana's asked the police to keep them away from the waiting room. Still, it'll be hard keeping news about a Broadway superstar, and especially news like this out of tomorrow's paper. Kurt, Santana's going to stay with you, try and keep the hounds away."

He doesn't answer Puck, but asks instead what everyone else wants the answer to. "What happened?"

"Their car was T-boned, on Rachel's side."

Simultaneous gasps ripple through their group and he grips onto Blaine's hand tighter, peeking up at Rachel's best friend. Mike has his eyes closed, his knuckles white as they grip the wall beside him. Tina wraps her arms around him and he pulls her closer to his side, his jaw set. Beside Kurt, Blaine stiffens.

Pucks runs his hands over his shaved head and loops them behind his neck. "The other driver was killed on impact. Rachel's legs were trapped, they had to cut her out. Ah, she has a fractured collarbone, bruised ribs, a couple of cuts and bruises and some head trauma," he pauses and his wife moves closer to him, linking their hands together. "They think there's some swelling in her brain."

"Think?" Brittany whispers.

Puck shrugs. "They did an MRI. There's no internal bleeding, but her brain got rattled around pretty good in her head."

"And what about the baby?" He's surprised his voice still works, but he needs to ask. No one has even mentioned the baby. Mercedes wobbles on her feet and Sam pulls her into his side, turning her into his chest as he stares at Puck.

"So far the baby's heartbeat is steady, but they're monitoring it."

"And Finn?" Santana asks.

"He got the least of it. Broken leg, minor concussion and a collapsed lung, cuts and bruises on his arms and legs."

"I've never been more happy that Finn spent all his money on a fucking Audi A6." Santana mutters.

"It was Rachel's idea." Mike responds absently.

"I've never been more happy that Rachel spent all her money on a fucking Audi A6." Santana corrects herself. Puck gives a grim smile and presses his lips to her forehead.

"I'm heading to the airport to pick up your parents and Rachel's. I'll deal with the press and whatever legal matter might pop up." He walks over to kneel in front of Kurt. "Finn's sedated and the doctors say Rachel is stable. They're monitoring both her and the baby and its just a matter of waiting for her to wake up. They'll be fine."

He nods because he thinks that's what Puck expects him to do, but he's not wholly convinced. Rachel's tiny, and with those kind of injuries, and pregnant, he thinks its time for a miracle.

...

Chris wakes up, asking for his parents and Tina brings him to Kurt.

"Momma and daddy are sleeping in that room right there sweetie." He points towards the closed door of their room. "I'll take you to see them in a minute."

"Okay. Gotta pee, please." He yawns and rubs his eyes.

"I'll take him." Mike offers. He lifts the little boy in his arms and heads towards the bathroom.

They jump to their feet when Artie and two of the doctors walk up to them. Artie nods and Brittany walks over to his chair.

"Puck's told you then?"

Kurt nods.

"Good. So far, they're doing fine. The doctors have done the best they can, its up to Rachel and Finn now. And they're both fighters, so we can only hope for the best."

Hope, he'll toss that right up there with a miracle. He crosses his fingers.

"Mr. Hummel, you can go in if you want to see them." The tall red-haired man who was working on Finn nods towards the room.

"Want me to come with you?" Blaine asks.

He shakes his head, because really, he hasn't done much beside worry. Finn and Rachel need him to be strong. And so does Chris. And Santana. Mercedes. He needs to be strong for their parents when they get here.

"I'll be fine."

Blaine squeezes his fingers and lets him go. He walks in the room and sits in the chair facing Finn and Rachel, dropping his head in his hands as he tries to understand how tonight went from great to fucked up in a matter of hours.

Four hours, he notes the time on his watch. It only took our hours to turn his family's life upside down.

...

Chris comes back with Mike and crawls onto his lap, his finger hanging from his mouth as he yawns again.

"Momma and Daddy still sleeping, Unca Kurt?" he murmurs sleepily.

Kurt nods slightly and Chris nuzzles closer into him. "They gonna wake up soon, right?"

He bites the tears back and shrugs. He doesn't want to lie to his nephew but the truth was, he didn't know, _no one _knew. He settles for generic and silently begs whoever was listening that he wasn't wrong, because if he was, he just.. didn't know what else to do. He repeats what Puck told him to his nephew.

"Everything will be alright, Chris. Go back to sleep honey."

"Okay."

He wraps his arms around the little boy, who looks just like his mother except for eyes like Finn's and was his father's son through and through, rocking him slowly as he falls back asleep. He looks up at the sound of hurried footsteps and sees Chris' grandparents standing at the door and fresh tears spring to his eyes.

Finn's mother was distraught, scared silent as she looks from her son to her daughter-in-law lying unconscious in their beds. Burt's face was tight, his eyes red as he stares into the room. LeRoy Berry was clutching onto his husband, his face wet and drawn. Hiram looked murderous, his eyes glistening as they meet his.

He nods at Rachel's father and the older gentleman reciprocates stiffly, walking his husband into the room. He makes to get up and LeRoy shakes his head; behind him Santana walks in bringing another chair, Mike and Puck behind her with two more. He falls onto the chair when they put it beside Kurt, keeping a firm grip onto Hiram.

His stepmother moves slowly, like she was still asleep - she was even still dressed in her pyjamas - walking over to him and hugging him and Chris tight. She whispers unintelligible words into his hair and touches his cheek, pressing her lips onto Chris' messy hair. She takes a deep breath, straightens up and turns around, her breath hitching as she stares over at Finn and Rachel.

Carole walks over to her son, kissing his forehead and grasping his limp hand tightly between hers. She brushes her lips over his hand, her tears soaking the bandages there. She turns to Rachel and does the same thing, resting her hands briefly over her daughter in law's swollen belly.

Suddenly, her body shakes with her silent sobs and she falls to the floor. Kurt's insides twist as he watches his father hurry over to his wife, coaxing her from the floor and into a chair. She pulls the chair between the beds and takes her son's hand in hers, the other grasping Rachel's fingers tightly. She bends her head and they watch her as silent words slip from her lips.

He's not one for prayer, but if there's anyone who needs their prayers answered, he can't think of anyone better than Carole.

...

He stands outside their room as Blaine tries to get him to drink something. He knows he should, he's been there almost six hours and its almost 3am but food is the last thing on his mind.

He peeks back into the room, Hiram has a sleeping Chris over his shoulder as he whispers silently to Burt. LeRoy sits on Rachel's other side, stroking his daughter's hair as he talks lowly with Carole. Every few seconds his eyes would flick to Rachel's swollen stomach and he'd start sobbing and whatever Finn's mother says to him he'd nod and try and compose himself.

"Any change?" He turns around to see Mercedes and Sam. He shakes his head and Mercedes leaves her husband and walks into Kurt's open arms.

"I'll get some coffee." Sam says quietly.

"I'll come with." Blaine tosses the undrunk cup of what Kurt is sure is tasteless coffee and follows his friend towards the cafeteria.

"I want them to be alright. I don't even want to think of what can happen if they aren't." Mercedes sniffles and dabs under her eyes.

He doesn't want to either. The ideas he's had aren't pretty and no matter what, he can't keep them away. Mercedes clutches him closer and Tina comes over and wraps her arms around them too. They stay like that until their significant others come back with cups of tea and coffee and a variety of muffins.

Blaine has a holder with four cups of coffee and he walks silently into the room and hands them out. Sam holds out a cup to Kurt and he takes it, earning a kiss from Blaine.

It reminds him of what Rachel would usually do to Finn when he eats or does something he really didn't want to. He puts the cup to his lips to stifle his whimper at the memory.

...

"Rach..."

He's never heard a sweeter sound. Not even Chris' laughter sounds this good. And that little boy's laugh is so infectious even if he's being a badass he still makes you laugh.

Finn was awake.

He hurriedly brushes away the tears as Finn's legs move and he calls his wife's name again.

"Kurt?" Finn's voice was scratchy and weak, but he was _awake. _He shakes his mother awake and runs to his brother's side.

"Kurt." Finn tries again. He blinks his eyes open, frowning at both of them. "Mom?"

His mother nods and sniffles as he tries to smile. "Water." He croaks.

Carole's hands are shaking too much to hold the cup to his lips for him to drink, but she does, caressing his head gently while he drinks. Kurt twists around to look over at his sister, praying for a similar miracle.

Nothing.

He wipes away more tears before turning back around.

"How're you feeling?" Carole combs his hair away from his forehead, mindful of his stitches.

"Like my entire body got hit by the entire offensive team in one sitting. Did Karofsky and Azimio come back to beat me like a puinching bag after all these years?"

Kurt smiles and shakes his head. One worry out of the way: Finn still has his memories. Carole presses her palm against his cheek, her smile grim. She looks up at Kurt, and nods at the button over his shoulder. "Call the doctor."

"Where's Rachel?" Finn asks tiredly. He tries to sit up, wincing when his body protests. "What… what happened? Rachel?"

His eyes meets Carole's and she nods. Kurt steps to the side, his face tight as Finn's eyes lands on his wife. Tears spring to his eyes at the heartbreaking look creeping across his brother's face,and they fall unabashed. He tries to lift a hand, ignoring the pain in his body and stretching towards her.

"Finn, you can't move. Your stitches. Stop moving you big lug." He fights his brother to keep him prone on the bed but even evidently in pain, Finn is strong.

"Rach? Baby? Mom, Kurt what's wrong? She's just sleeping, right?" he asks frantically, trying to get up from the bed despite a punctured lung and several broken ribs. The physical and emotional pain wars with Finn's body and Kurt is guiltily happy when Finn's doctor comes in with the nurses, ushering them aside. They have to sedate him again, this huge teddy bear of a man shouting for his wife, he was almost hysterical.

From the other bed, Rachel doesn't even blink.

...

Sometimes Kurt thinks Chris is too smart for a four-year old. He's the best part of his mother and father but right now is one of those times he wishes his nephew was more like those kids who're only concerned about toys and food. His boyfriend links their hands when Chris asks his grandmother if his Momma is going to go to heaven.

"Why do you sask that Bug?" She tries to smooth down the messy mop of hair Chris evidently got from his father, falling over his eyes as he blinks innocently up at her.

"Cause. She's still sleeping. And Auntie Monique at school says that sometimes when mommies are hurt real bad and they come to the hospital and they don't ever wake up it means they gonna go to heaven and they'll be happy and sing and won't be hurt no more and tell stories with baby Jesus. And Momma sings real pretty."

Chris swings his legs from Carole's lap, sticking the straw from his juice box back into his mouth.

Burt pipes up beside him when Carole's lower lip trembles. "Ah, Bug. When did you get so smart?"

"Momma says I'm a big boy and I have to be smart to help take care of my little sister because Daddy messes up alls the time." Chris giggles, holding his finger to his mouth like he's sharing a secret.

Mercedes and Tina laugh from the seats opposite them and even Santana chuckles.

Finn was all thumbs when Chris came along. Even having read all the books and calling his mother every few seconds, he made his mistakes. Rachel was like a pro, like she was made to be a mother, despite not growing up with one herself.

He doesn't want to imagine Rachel not here. Chris needs her. Both their parents need her. And he needs his little sister too.

Kurt just needs her to be alright.

"Momma is lucky to have you around Chris. You can teach Daddy how to take care of your baby sister when she comes. Okay Bug?" He ruffles Chris' hair and Finn's dimples grin back at him.

"Issa baby gonna be borned soon?"

Both Tina and his mother press their hands to their mouths to stifle their cries. He doesn't answer, he can't answer that. Chris stares up at him with Finn's eyes and Rachel's nose and mouth and no one answers because they can't. The idea of something happening to their unborn daughter -

It's not an option.

It's not.

...

"Hey, there's my lil man!"

Finn's alright enough that he can lean against his pillows. And Chris scampers across the room, jumping onto the bed and into his father's arms ignoring his Gramma and Papa's warning to be gentle. But Finn doesn't seem to mind Chris' eagerness.

LeRoy just chuckles from beside Rachel.

His brother quickly blinks away the tears as he presses kisses into his son's hair, hugging him close to his chest and situating his son opposite the chest tube taped under his arm. Kurt tucks his robe around the wound and waggles his finger at Chris. Finn chuckles and kisses Chris' cheek.

"Awww, Daddy, _stop_. Imma too big for kisses." He insists. He pats his father's jaw and leans over to peek at his mother, his look sober. "Momma still sleeping daddy."

Finn looks over at Rachel with a sad smile. "Yea. We have to be good for her when she wakes up, alright sport?"

Chris nods enthusiastically then looks over at his mother again then up at his father. "Can I give mommy a kiss daddy? She's been sleeping a long time."

They hadn't wanted to keep Chris around his parents, especially since they weren't sure how to explain his mother not responding to his calls, and they didn't want him jumping on her bed like he did Finn's. Chris was smart, and he didn't exactly lead a sheltered life, but there are some things that are just too hard to explain to a four year old.

"Be gentle Bug. Mommy's really sick and she gets better the longer she sleeps, OK?"

"OK daddy." He crawls over to Kurt and lifts his arm up. Kurt lifts him into his arms, walking over to Rachel. Leaning out of his uncle's arms, Chris presses his lips on Rachel's cheek and then her tummy. "Feel better Momma. And baby too." He whispers.

He turns around to Finn and he has his hand covering his face as silent sobs wrack his body. Chris' face falls and he wiggles out Kurt's arms and back onto his father's bed, crawling into his side and pulls Finn's hand away, brushing his tears from his face.

"Don't cry Daddy. Momma's gonna be OK."

He pats his father's cheek and grips Finn's thumb with his small hand, snuggling into him and starts to sing a small voice

_So let the sun shine in_  
_Face it with a grin_  
_Smilers never lose_  
_And frowners never win_  
_So let the sun shine in_  
_Face it with a grin_  
_Open up your heart and let the sun shine in_

He has to hurry from the room before he starts to cry, and he hasn't cried yet. His nephew is smart, too smart for his own good.

...

Chris falls asleep in his father's arms. Carole sits beside him, in her chair between him and Rachel and Kurt sits opposite Finn.

"I know there was an accident. But I don't remember anything after it; I woke up and my chest was on fire and next thing I remember you two are standing over me. And Rachel -," He closes his eyes and take a deep breath.

It falls to Kurt to repeat what he knows, to his stepmother and stepbrother and he hates himself for being the bearer of bad news. Carole cries openly and Finn clutches his sleeping son closer to his chest, his breathing haggard as he stares at his wife. Burt hurries in and takes one look at Carole and takes her in his arms, helping her walk from the room.

"Hang in there son."

Finn nods woodenly, his eyes not leaving Rachel.

"We're going to name her Eve Carole." He murmurs.

A hollow feeling enters his chest as he listens to his brother.

Finn glances at him and smiles wetly, his eyes going back to his wife. "We decided at dinner. Rachel kept singing Evie darling with her hands on her belly in the car." Finn laughs lightly and presses his lips to Chris' hair.

"I asked her why give her a nickname that's actually longer than her given name and she blushed and says she's prefers Evie." He starts crying more openly now, and Kurt sighs heavily, closing his eyes against the pain on his brother's face.

"I can't live without her Kurt. I don't know _how_ to."

He stays with Finn until his cries taper off into sniffles, his arms around his son who has mercifully slept through this and the majority of past several hours.

Before he leaves, he wheels Rachel's bed closer to Finn's, lifting her arm and putting in his. His brother smiles thankfully at him, and pulls his son closer.

Finn was out of the woods, physically he would be fine. But if Rachel doesn't wake up, and doesn't wake up soon, he doesn't know what Finn will do. He has a son to take care of and an unborn baby. He'll be crushed if she doesn't wake and devastated if he loses them both.

Kurt walks out of the room and straight into Blaine's waiting arms. He has no idea what he can possibly do to drive those thoughts from his mind. And if he feels like _this_, just imagining the worst, he can't begin to fathom the depth of his brother's pain.

...

He and Blaine are sitting on the floor of the waiting room colouring with Chris as people pass them by. It's midday and more than twenty-four hours since Santana showed up in the middle of _Funny Girl_.

_If all the sunbeams_  
_Were bubblegum and ice cream_  
_Oh, what a sun that would be!_  
_Standing outside, with my mouth open wide_  
_Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah_

Blaine sings _If All The Raindrops_ song with Chris as they do with Chris messing up the words and he keeps giggling because Blaine has no skill in colouring whatsoever. Kurt tsks at his boyfriend as he goes outside the line on the elephant yet again and Chris looks up and laughs at them when Blaine tosses a crayon at Kurt._  
_

"Bad Unca Blaine!" Blaine winks at the little boy and grins at Kurt but his smile slowly falls away as beeping emits from the room they've all taken turns going into.

Mike's gone back to the office, leaving two officers who're seated in the waiting room and Sam took Mercedes' home. Tina and Brittany were asleep in the nurse's lounge and Artie was in his office upstairs. Puck and Santana were outside talking. Hiram had gone with Burt and LeRoy to get something to eat.

Nurses at the station nearby jump up and one of them pages Rachel's doctor as lights start to flash from inside Finn and Rachel's room. Kurt whirls his head back around.

"Blaine. Take Chris to the cafeteria."

Blaine doesn't hesitate. "Hey Bug, want a cookie? I'm sure your mom and dad won't mind, right Uncle Kurt?"

Kurt forces a smile for them. "Sure, I won't tell if you won't."

Chris squeals and jumps to his feet, grabbing Blaine's hand and tugs him away.

Kurt hurries to his feet and rushes towards their room on wobbly legs the same time Santana comes striding down the hallway, her eyes wide.

"Kurt?"

He shakes his head, staring at the flurry of activity inside the hospital room, Carole trying to hold Finn back as tries to get up from his bed and the doctor and nurses gathered around Rachel's.

His heart falls into the bottom of his stomach as he watches them work on his sister-in-law, throwing out medical jargon he doesn't want to understand.

He just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

He stands aside, frozen, gripping onto Santana's arm as they hurry out, wheeling Rachel from of the room. Hiram comes rushing up and runs inside looking around wildly, his face falling at the sight of his son-in-law curled into his mother's arms.

"Whats happened? Where are they taking Rachel?" he demands. Nobody answers him, if anything Finn's cries grow louder until one of the nurses still lingering in the room has to sedate hm. He slumps against his mother, crying softly in her arms until they fade off into gentle snores.

"Nurse, where've they taken my daughter?" Hiram's voice is hoarse as he reaches a hand out to touch her shoulder as she passes and she turns sympathetic eyes onto him.

"I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but the baby's heartbeat started dropping too fast. They need to do an emergency C-section to save both, or one of them." She says gently. She rests her hand on his arm before she walks away.

Hiram seems to just sway there for a minute.

Kurt nor Santana can move fast enough before Rachel's father collapses onto the hospital floor.

...

LeRoy and Tina go down to the ER to wait while they check Hiram out and he paces the floor in front of Finn's room while Blaine watches him with worried eyes.

Carole has Chris in the bathroom as she bathes him, singing the raindrop song from earlier. Finn's still asleep and there's been no word about Rachel in surgery. Artie wheels down hallways with a hard look on his face that not even Brittany can soothe. Santana sits beside her husband, her face buried in his shoulder as she cries softly.

Today cannot be real.

He hears the click of a camera and turns his head to see one of the police officers yanks a camera from a weaselly-looking man, almost marching over towards him when Blaine grabs his shoulder.

"No. He's not worth it."

"Blaine, he's taking pictures. My _brother_ is lying in that room, right there, sedated for the third time since he's been admitted. They're doing _surgery_ on my sister-in-law who's_ unconscious_ because her baby might be _dying_. And he's taking a fucking picture."

"Blaine, let him go. I'll even plead him out." Puck mutters. Santana smacks him on the shoulder and he grunts.

The police officer drags the reporter out of the waiting room, the look on his face almost agreeing with Kurt's and as he passes Rachel's doctor hurrying down the hallway towards them.

"The baby is fine, and Rachel is fine, there were no complications during her C-section. The swelling in her head has receded as well. Now that the stress of her body working overtime to care for both herself and her daughter has been alleviated, we believe she should wake up as early as tonight."

He nods at the doctor, the words kncoking around his head.

Rachel should wake up.

Rachel _will_ wake up.

The doctor smiles. "Do you want to see your niece? 7lbs, 3 oz. We're bringing Mrs. Hudson back to the room in a few minutes."

Blaine pushes him forward and he tugs Santana to her feet, looking back to his boyfriend. "Call everyone else, will you? Carole's getting Chris dressed in Finn's room."

Santana wraps her arm around his waist as the follow the doctor towards the NICU.

"This is a good thing, right? The baby's fine and she's out so Rachel's body doesn't have to work so hard." Santana whispers, brushing away tears. He's still slightly surprised seeing Santana Puckerman crying, it's a sight he'll never get used to.

"I hope so."

Hope.

He idly wonders how is it he hasn't cried yet.

...

He really thought he'd be crying once he saw Finn holding his daughter. It was a bittersweet moment, though.

Rachel was still unconscious, which was both good and bad. Good, because her body and mind had to try and heal itself. Bad, they didn't know how bad her head injury was, and if she woke up with her memories but without a belly, she'd be devastated. It's not like the alternative was any better: depending on the extent of her injuries from the accident, she could wake up not knowing who she was, who they were and not even know she has a family waiting on her to get better.

LeRoy was scolding Hiram for fainting and Chris was awed as he held his little sister - carefully - from his father's lap.

"Evie Carole Hudson." He says proudly. "Grammy, she has your name!"

Carole clasps her hands under her chin as she watches them, then reaches out to grab Rachel's hand, kissing it.

Evie was doing alright, all things considered at just under four weeks premature, the nurses allowed them to hold her for a few while LeRoy helped to fill out her birth certificate. She was beautiful, and the centre of attention - just like a Berry - as she slept peacefully in her brother's arms, in her father's lap. Chris was singing to her, her little fist in his and Kurt walks over to Rachel's other side, taking her other hand in his, joining Chris in his song.

Rachel loves to sing, she did in high school, in college and as a career before she left to have Chris. She always says music could fix anything. So between singing, prayers and a whole lot of hope, he's almost sure now they can get a miracle.

...

Chris wants his father to read _The Fairy Book of Stories _to him. He says he wants to keep Evie company while she sleeps and while they wait for mommy to wake up. Finn nods, and though it physically hurts for him to talk, he glares at Kurt when he tries to stop him.

"Where'd you wanna start Bug?"

"Chapter One. I need to read it to Evie from the beginning so she understands the story daddy." He says this like his father doesn't understand. Rachel bought the book after Kurt did the review for the magazine he works for and Chris has fallen in love with it. Every night he asks for a new story and Finn found the best way to punish his four-year old was no story at bedtime. It usually worked.

He settles onto the chair between them with Evie in his arms as she sucks away greedily at a bottle. Just like a Hudson.

Finn groans playfully as Chris flips to the first page.

"Are you going to read it with me Bug?"

Chris nods and looks over at Kurt and Evie. "Listen good baby Evie, Daddy reads the bestest!"

For a minute Finn doesn't say anything, he just rests his lips on Chris' hair. He composes himself, coughing as he starts to read the first line.

...

"I really hope you're not trying to breastfeed my daughter."

His head turns around slowly to stare at Rachel. She's staring at him with tears falling down her face as her lower lip wobbles.

"_Jesus Christ._ Rachel?"

"Yea." She says wetly. She lifts her hand and brushes the tears from her face.

"That's her right, Evie?"

He's frozen to his chair, unable to speak, his niece clutched close to his chest, wrapped in a pink fluffy blanket.

"Judging by the fact that I woke up and there's no baby _inside_ me, I'm really hoping that's my daughter you're holding in your arms."

"Rachel. How aren't you freaking out right now?" He asks hoarsely.

"Why?" She asks quietly, her brows furrowed. "I knew she was safe."

Beside him, Finn stirs and he reaches a hand out and smacks his brother. "Finn! Wake up."

Finn grumbles but pulls himself from sleep, turning his head towards them. His eyes widen when he sees Rachel blink back at him. "Baby? Rach? You're awake?"

"Mom! Wake up! Call the doctor!" Finn chokes out.

His mother is sleeping, curled up with Chris on her lap.

"Rachel? Oh!"

"Momma!"

Carole grabs hold of her grandson before he can rush off, lifting him in her arms as she walks over. Chris wraps his arms around his mother happily and Rachel winces, biting her lip.

"Rachel, you alright baby?" Finn calls out.

Carole lifts Chris from his mother, slowly untangling his arms from around Rachel's neck. "Careful Bug, Momma's still hurt."

"What's wrong momma?"

"Hey sweetheart." She tries to smile at her son but it looks more like a grimace and she has to close her eyes against the pain.

Carole ushers Chris out to sit with his grandfathers as Rachel's doctor comes in to check on her. Evie starts crying the minute he gets up from beside her mother and Finn holds his hand out so Kurt can give her to him. The minute Finn cuddles her to her chest, Evie's cries quiet. The doctor touches her hand, bringing Rachel's eyes to him.

"Mrs. Hudson, how're you feeling?"

"Not pregnant." Rachel chuckles, lightly.

"Well, sorry about that. I don't think your little girl wanted to stay in there too long. She sorta knew you had to do some healing without her."

"Can I hold her?" She whispers.

"In a minute." The doctor says gently.

Rachel stares at her baby in Finn's arms as the doctor and nurses check her blood pressure and the bandages on her arm and chest.

"How does your shoulder feel?"

"It hurts. My side hurts, my head hurts."

The doctor chuckles again. "We can give you some more painkillers for that."

Rachel shakes her head, her eyes still on Evie. "No. I want to breastfeed my daughter."

"Mrs. Hudson, I really thi -,"

"No." Rachel insists. "I missed out giving birth to my daughter, I haven't even held her yet. Suppose she doesn't know who I am?" She starts tearing up, her lips trembling as she looks from Finn to Evie.

"No, Rach, no. Never! Kurt." Finn raises his hands so Kurt can take her, and he walks carefully to Rachel's side, laying the newborn gently beside her.

Evie turns her face towards Rachel, cradled in her mother's arms and Rachel cries earnestly, rubbing her nose over her daughter's hair.

"Hi, Evie."

The baby yawns and stretches her arms out towards Rachel, giving a small cry before quieting down, snuggling into her mother's arms.

"I love you so much baby girl. My Evie." Rachel whispers. She looks over at her husband and hiccups. "I love you too."

"Jesus Christ, Rach. I was so scared. I love you baby, I love you _so much_."

He feels like he's eavesdropping, and the doctor has the same idea. He backs out slowly behind the doctor, closing the door softly beside him. Chris is sitting on Santana's lap, hitting her hands as he laughs gaily. Everyone turns to look at them and the doctor nods and saunters off.

He doesn't say anything, but just by the look on his face a collective sigh goes through the group of people sitting around. Santana hugs Chris close and he squeaks and tries to wiggle free. From her husband's arms Carole clasps her hands and closes her eyes.

He's just really fucking glad right now. And kisses his boyfriend, smiling genuinely for the first time in what feels like years.

...

The clock behind the nurses station tell him its almost 4am. He was tired, weary and achy.

His parents had already gone to Rachel's and Finn's with Chris. Three days of staying in a hospital with bad food, hospital showers and a cramped cot was too much, and well, the worse was over now. Chris' grandmother clung to him like a lifeline and his father wouldn't leave his wife's side so it was just better to send them home to rest. They could always come back in the morning.

He has an 8am deadline for his article on Friday - tomorrow. Rachel has an interview with BroadwayWorld and he can't remember if this Saturday is Chris' Tee Ball game or the next. None of that matters really, they're just details he just remembers. He sighs as he walks down the hallway, nodding politely to the nurses when he passes.

He walks outside the ER doors and around the corner, sliding down to the floor, not even caring that his Pierre Cardin dress pants were on the ground. He breathes in and lets out a breath. Then he does it again, inhaling and exhaling slowly. In and out. In. Out. In. Out. He doesn't even realizing he's crying until fat tears drop onto his chest, soaking his shirt in seconds. He drops his head onto his hands and just cries.

He doesn't care that he has a deadline for a magazine article. He doesn't care that the same play Rachel saw that night was up for another Tony and that the magazine wanted an interview with the originating star and Tony winning actress. Whether Chris' game was this week or a month from now, it doesn't matter.

What matters was that his brother and sister were alive. His niece was here, and _safe_, never mind she was three weeks early, she was here. Three days ago neither of them might have made it. Three heartbeats could have been stopped permanently. He feels relieved, and not ashamed to admit it either.

"Thank you." No, he doesn't believe in prayer, but it feels good saying it. Maybe there's a guardian angel looking out for those two.

He composes himself, pulling his handkerchief from his pocket and wiping his face. It's quiet as he makes his way back to the Hudsons, and he's glad for it. He's had enough excitement to last him awhile.

Evie was asleep on her back, her small fist clutching the pink blanket Chris had bought from the gift shop downstairs, it was covered with Disney princesses and he had insisted his Grammy buy it because Daddy and Momma said that Evie was their little princess. He stares at her tiny body, counting the steady breaths, smiling when the rise and fall of her chest matches his. He doesn't think he's loved anyone more than this little girl and she wasn't even his, not even related by blood.

But as Evie yawns in her sleep and frowns, Finn's dimples peek out. Her hair is the colour of Rachel's, and hopefully she won't be as small, judging by her long limbs kicking in her sleep. She's lucky. And perfect. And will be spoiled until she's 30. But she's perfect.

He settles in the chair beside her cot between her parents, on Finn's side (he'll get over it.) As he drifts off to sleep he finds it funny that all three chests now rise and fall in sync.

* * *

**A/N: I um, hope you like it :) Sometimes I feel cruel about the things I do to Finn and Rachel in my stories. I hope they forgive me.**


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